You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
