is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
