(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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