so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
