Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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