you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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