We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
