How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
