So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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