How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
