member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
