Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
