My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
