that's an acceptable place to lick
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
