Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
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If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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