You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
