come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
