Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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