I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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