Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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