This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
