Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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