Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
