he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
