I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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