just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
