Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
