you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
