I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
