he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
