I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
