I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
