mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
