I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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