508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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