btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
