I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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