I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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