you guys were way drunker than both of me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
well you can't waste a boner
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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