that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
