There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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