HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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