I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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