OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
