i just google imaged poop.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize