lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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