On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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