she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
