Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
