OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
