Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
