I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
