i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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