I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You ate ashes out of my bong
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
