were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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