Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize