Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
as a side note pls kill me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
