just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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