suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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