Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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