No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
