Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
