Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize