I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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