i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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