This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize