I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
