hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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