dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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