Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sext me about skeletons
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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