oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
