Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
