everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How external is "for external use only"?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
