so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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