Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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