id be glad to
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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