I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
