I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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