My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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