How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there was a trapeze. enough said
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
