The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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