What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
