Whod you bang
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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