am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How does one acquire holy water?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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