well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize