there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
