Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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