Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
