your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
