Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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