There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My bed smells like the plague
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
